Tuesday, November 17, 2015

11-17-15 seven months without my sunshine

Seven months?

I can not believe it has been seven months , all my sense of time has vanished.  I'm afraid of days going by because I am afraid of my bad memory losing cherished memories of Cassandra's smile, laughter and voice saying " I love you Momma". 

I want to hold on dearly to each and every moment....the laying next to her as a baby when I'd see her stir so when she opened her eyes, I would be right beside her and she would smile.
Learning to talk and say Momma and Dadda....How she loved her Grandpa so very much and how he held her within the first fifteen minutes of her birth.  
Going to Bonnie Springs the first time just the two of us for  the afternoon and strolling through the petting zoo and having lunch in the cafe.  
Her excitement in becoming a big sister to Chelsea at the age of 2 and a half.....
Homeschooling her and her being so excited as she learned her phonics!!! 

So many wonderful beautiful moments I cherish through the years- I have always cherished them but always thought I would have many many more to come. 

I Praise God for each and every moment I have had with Cassandra while I was pregnant with her, being honored to see her grow from a tiny baby into a lovely young lady that valued all life and took the ideal of being non-judgmental and giving unconditional love even further than what I was able to teach her.  

I have so many questions, lost feelings , very deep sad feelings but I know that I will somehow ,with time ,work through this and feel less pain.   Truth is, I know also, that this is a tragedy my heart and soul will never ever be able to "get over."   

I pray daily that each moment we shared will stay in my memory forever so I can replay them though out my life!!!!
All I do, I do in memory of Cassandra Cassidy " My Sunshine"


  1. Keep writing Carol. It's the best medicine for your heart and soul. I love you. Did you know that you can have a book printed from all your posts on here? So keep writing!

  2. I am pleased to see you writing here again. The cherished memories will never fade, as we both know. Those our yours to keep...and to share with us on this blog.