Monday, November 16, 2015

Myth busting!

Myths of grief:   there are too many I have heard/ experienced over the last seven months to repeat. 

The one below has helped me to realize why my therapist has me researching all these myths so we can be Myth Busters!!!! 

According to Alan D Wolfelt, Ph.D. in his article "Helping dispel 5 common Myths about grief"

Myth #1) Grief and Mourning are the same experience

Most people tend to use the words grief and mourning interchangeably. However, there is an important distinction between them. We have learned that people move toward healing not by just grieving , but through mourning.

Simply stated, grief is the internal thoughts and feeling we experience when someone we love dies, Mourning , on the other hand is taking he internal experience of grief and expressing it outside ourselves.

In Reality , many people in our culture grieve, but they do not mourn, Instead of being encouraged to express their grief outwardly, they are often greeted with messages such as "carry on" , "keep your chin up" , and "keep busy" . So, thy end up grieving within themselves in isolation, instead of mourning outside of themselves in the presence of loving companions.- End of quote.

 In my field of work , I see too many people that have not processed feelings and in turn have stuffed resentments and had to turn to drugs and alcohol to hide from these feelings they never processed- It is important to heal, to process your feelings as you are going through them and heal properly so you can move forward with a healthy life and healthy relationships. 

I am doing everything possible to learn how to face and process feelings I don't want to even face but I know it must be done in a healthy manner for me and for Chelsea.  Cassandra was on board with us being the generation to break the chain of alcoholism and drug addiction , She would want more than anything for us to search for healthy ways to survive and carry on her love and memory. 

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