Sunday, February 21, 2016

The Letter to Cassandra

This is a letter that my Grief and loss counselor had me write to Cassandra on my final week: ( 8 weeks total as I did not go till after Holidays came) Keep in mind I had a format that she wanted me to stick to so it is not a freehand letter though I did go off a bit. LOL

Dear Sunshine,

Our relationship has been going through a very difficult, heart breaking transformation that neither you or I saw coming ten months ago.   I want you to know that I am sorry that I could not forsee this tragedy and take precautions ahead of time!!!  I am sorry that I wasn't there to take that bullet myself!!! Your life was robbed from you so suddenly and I am sorry for all your earthly dreams that at 24 years of age now will not be fulfilled.

A part of the healing of this letter is to forgive you ( that thought in it's self held me back from writing this letter for two weeks!) After much thought:   I forgive you for being so good at being organized and efficient, arriving to work on time yet causing you to be at the wrong place at the wrong time!

 I'm proud of you Sunshine,for every detail of who you were here on earth physically and how you remain my sunshine spiritually.  During these past ten month's transformations, since that tragic night April 17,2015 , I have felt your soul every single day.  Your guiding thoughts help me to make decisions. You continue to teach me new things from your spiritual side of life and most of all you have given me resilience knowing you and I will always be connected by our souls.

Thank you Sunshine for the wonderful gifts that you've given me through your life shared here on earth with me.  You gave me the gift of learning boundaries , standing up for myself, that it is ok to not be happy all the time and to have balance, The gift of taking time for self introspect, to not allow fear to take me over and the gift of showing me beyond doubt that although you are gone physically your remain spiritually always!!!

Although I know that the pain will always be here and I will miss you always, I must now say goodbye to the pain of missing you physically so much so that it blocks our full spiritual Transcendence of our soul's relationship to be all it is meant to be.

Love you bunches and bunches through eternity Sunshine,
 Your Momma Always!

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