Little house on the prairie

I was texting my daughter  tonight about enlisting her assistance in setting up my future shop on line.  When I first started writing my poems and felt God putting it upon my heart to share this inspiration with the world, things were a lot different.  I had made brochures, fliers, giving them away as gifts , and was arranging to place some in a craft store near by to begin a special order program.  Now it is all on line! 
 
 I have seen so many changes in time of my life.  I am in awe of change yet still hunger for the old "little house on  the prairie" days.  I know these changes all make my life easier and there is no going back, but oh how my heart aches for simplicity.  Harder physical work, oh yes, but truth is truth and marriage is forever in a God centered society!!! 

Ahhh, I borrowed this photo of a friends home up in Montana.  Seems a world away from Las Vegas, look closely and you can almost hear the cow bell ringing at supper time and Laura Ingalls shouting "I'm comin Pa".  

 Thank you for your photo Mitch. I hope life is half as peaceful as I imagine u there in God's country!   Have a blessed day everyone. :)

Time to create

I have realized today the gift God has given me to work nights and be able to have quality time to be inspired to write again.  It has been years since I have created a poem or a personalized prayer for anyone.  The last time I attempted was when I was pregnant with my baby Charisma that passed away within me at eight months of pregnancy over ten years ago.

I have felt for years that God has wanted me to go back to this passion.  I now feel that the time is here. Now that so much stress has been lifted from me in my work life, I get so many awake hours to myself. I will now be free to allow my thoughts to transpose to paper and start "Carol's Loving Creations"

 

Off to review these old writings and dream of future ways to create new writing on new platforms. My goal is to sell these writings and designs on a website at   http://www.etsy.com  where they sell all kinds of crafts and wonderful homemade gifts.   This will be a long time goal fulfilled and a fun compassion I have yearned for ever since my girls were little!


In setting up my shop on Etsy , I discovered I had to make a change in my name.  It will be called:

 Love Creations by Carol.

  This shop is just in the start up stage so do not try to view until I announce a grand opening....Than

Peace in ones soul

In midst of the busy days and nights , I have found my peace.  Faith carries me through the good and the bad knowing that I do have a totally awesome God that sees me through all situations.  I no longer fear, worry or believe negative thoughts in my head. 

  Romans 8:28 "  And we know that all things work together for  good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his will. 


I live on that truth and that my friends is why I dance in the rain.  :)

Now this is success!!!

A few minutes ago, I was given reason to think about success and all the variations of society's definition of success.
I am not what anyone would consider the least bit financially successful or materialistically successful, but I am successful under my definition because I have my two daughters and they are my single most important goal in life.

 My goal was to have my own "family" and to prove to this world that if you raise your children showing them love and respect, they will love and respect  you back. I wanted to prove that there is no need to raise children being hurtful in anyway. 

We are to always look for ways to love our neighbors and to edify one another ...so if we are to do that for our neighbors and strangers , how then can human beings bring children into this world and then degrade them and hurt them in any way, physically, verbally or emotionally?  I never understood that and I wanted to prove to everyone that If we show our children unconditional love, respect and appreciation, they will show you the same and become wonderful compassionate humans.  My other motto in life besides "Dance in the Rain"  but to break cycles of abuse and addictions in our family.  I feel confident that by time my daughters become parents they will not carry on the generations of abuse and addictions that ran in both my family and their fathers!  

Now that my friends is what I call success!!!!

Cool weather and living nights!

I took a break last night of even thinking about my daily health issues and it felt great! :)

  I am noticing that although my head feels dizzy each day and the headaches continue, my ability to form my thoughts into words to express myself is frustrating, but the bright light is my numbing is beginning to take breaks! My face tingles and a arm then a leg but it is not as constant. Thank you God for seasons and dropping temperatures!!! 

 This week the temperature has dropped to the high 60's in days and high 40's at night...with this cooler weather comes great relief of how my symptoms get so intense in the summers here.  I am so grateful for winter this year!  The summers have increasingly grown harder on me ever since summer of 2008 and now the last two summers are making me feel as though I can not make it through another one. I will change my schedule to nights at least and then come next spring summer maybe I will not go through such high degree (ha ha) of increased symptoms. 

I am determined that depression will not over take me as I continue realizing more and more that although I am only 53 years old, my body is weak and I can not do half of what I could do last year and each year is becomes more limited.  My goal is to transfer to a gluten free diet, work nights, not allow stress and always always look on the bright side of how blessed I am to be alive each and everyday. I have grown to tryly appreciate life!!!

My dairy of symptoms:
Still numbness but less last few days, sharp needle like pains in stomach , foggy head of not thinking straight , not being able to multitask like I use to and not being able to talk smoothly anymore with words escaping my mind or being in mind but not getting mouth to form them. My head feels like will pass out any moment almost constant.   My neck never stops hurting now and now my middle and lower back has ached for a month now (not sure if new symptom of MS or if from the spinal stenosis they found in my neck is really in other ares too?)

History:
Diagnoised in 30's with degenerative desease in both kness due to childhood injury , ligaments torn and no cartridge in either knee , arthritis had already set in.  (1997) Was told I needed both knees replaced.
Diagnoised with spinal stenosis , degenerative disk & arthritis in spine (C5,6&7)   (2005)
Diagnoised with a TIA ( May 2011) Yes, there is a high risk of strokes and heart attacks in family history
Diagnoised with High Cholesterol (May 2011) On statins, but hate medications!
UN-Diagnoised with symptoms of MS that one doctor at Hospital says my MRI (white matter) and symptoms all looks and sounds like MS but I need to see a Neurologist (May 2011) *I am without Insurance so I just now two weeks ago was placed on list at free clinic to see a Neurologist!!!
Diagnoised with COPD Feb.2012
Diagnoised with endeometrosis Feb 2012
Diagnoised with cyst in Left ovaries (non cancerous so far) Feb 2012
I've been asked to take a colon test due to high risk in family of colon cancer two strong awesome sisters.

All is fine and managable but the Un-diagnoised symptoms of "possible MS" not knowing is worse...I refuse to let any of it get me down though.

I will just keep making adjustments yet I will continue my journey and....

I promise to continue dancing in the rain!!!!

Ahhh the peace & wonders of night

I am in midst of my work night with a house full of wonderful people , they are all sound asleep.  I sit and ponder what each is dreaming. What their lives have encountered to bring them here under the same roof under which I sit.  

I stop to realize the peace of a quiet night and hope they will come to a point in their lives where they could appreciate the quite.  One must come to a point to where they find happiness within to sit in the quite and not create drama all around in order to not hear the voices within. Those asleep here tonight think they are different because they hear the voices.  Their voices are just loader or meaner voices that want to harm them. In reality I do believe we all hear inner voices.  Those of us that grow to control those voices with the peace that comes in knowing ourselves find it indescribable to share with those that have not yet found that inner place. 

 How do we teach them peace? How do we teach them that in so many situations their parents (the ones they were suppose to trust with all they are) that the parents are the ones that are sick!  It wasn't their fault as children that their parents were full of anger , resentments and were unable to love.  How do we teach them to now put all the anger, resentments and walls to love, down.  To decide now as adults ,that this is their live and they have the right to throw away all the bad that was put upon them as children and it is their choice to break the chains!  

 It begins with realizing  they have a choice and it takes a lot of compassion for themselves to realize they are worth love and they never deserved to be raised by parents that did not teach them unconditional love! They can transform their thoughts, actions and heart to be the person they always wanted to be before others robbed them of their spirit. 

Please take a look at others and stop before you look in judgement. Realize if they are not loving , there is a reason and please look beyond their actions to look into the heart of a "child" that was never loved unconditionally.....reach out and show them what unconditional love is.  

Why else be alive but to reach out to another in love?
Carol:)

My motto of life

Today November 10, 2012

I changed the name of this blog today as I used as title a few days ago my motto in life and thought wow why didn't I name this blog by that...so I changed it today.  

Dance in the Rain,  I want to always dance in the rain or fulfill the meaning , to me it means to make the best out of all situations in life.

I am researching more ways to help my MS symptoms to stay at a minimum in my life. I realized that I have four ways I can help this outcome in natural ways with no medications for as long as possible. #1 is of course to always put God first in my life, 2)  get plenty of rest, 3) eat healthy (with MS a gluten free diet is best) and 4) to keep stress out of my life as much as possible.  Seems that most people with MS have something called leaky Gut syndrome so if you work on healing it, you can slow the progression down tremendously.

So gradually I will be working on switching myself over to a gluten free diet and whatever it takes to slow these symptoms down. 

Today I came back to Solutions Recovery for my work and that this time I will not be a lead manager of a house I will work nights or as a fill in so there will be a lot less work stress in my life.

Join me while I Dance in the rain forever!  
Carol:)